#which devastated me
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vaguely-concerned · 3 months ago
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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lifemod17 · 3 months ago
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"I love you too, don't you ever forget that"
🎥: thisphantomlife | x
Riverstage, Brisbane || 11/18/2024
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bruciemilf · 4 months ago
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There’s a lot of reasons to love Jason/Jaime. Main one being: Jason dating a Batman fanboy is INCREDIBLY funny
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utilitycaster · 6 months ago
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Ludinus Da'leth, to Fearne and Imogen:
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The security footage of the gods he's showing them a couple months later:
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 5 months ago
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🩶
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gideonysis · 1 month ago
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annabel lee
@bonesoup69
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llumimoon · 11 months ago
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Been playing a pokemon moon soul link nuzlocke with @silverbreeze424 and of course as the seal guy I had to pick the sea lion/seal starter r you kidding ?? Anyways loved this doodle page of Delphy sooo much I decided to color and post it <3
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heartorbit · 8 months ago
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why is their name siffrin when you siff in the cold food and siff out hot eat the food
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choccy-milky · 9 months ago
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ok settle down anon cw: my face🗿
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😍😍😍JUMPSCARE😍😍😍 this pic of me cracks me up so much because i look like that creature from aoi oni LMFAOO ok but heres a non crackhead pic of me i took today upon waking up at 5pm and before washing my face like the nocturnal disaster that i am
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u can tell that i cut my own hair bc look at that stray piece hanging down and how uneven it is LMAOOO i aint payin someone like 70 bucks for a haircut THEYRE A SCAM!! I CAN DO IT MYSELF🤺🤺🤺
also since we're on the topic i posted these on twitter but if u dont have twitter and didnt see them I WANNA SHOW THEM OFF AGAIN BC THIS DRESS IS SO CUTE
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its from miss patina if anyone is curious😩 i have so many of their dresses which i highly recommend and UGH....the feminine urge to draw clora in every single one of them is SO STRONG....im also a hermit and barely ever go outside so fully expect one day that im just gonna post ALL my dresses just so that i can show them off to someone LMAOO🥰🥰
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casscainmainly · 3 days ago
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Cass, Names, and the Black Bat Era
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With a Black Bat mention in 2025 (read Batgirl (2024) #4!!), it seems as good a time as any to look back on one of Cass' most fleeting identities. We all know why Cass took up Batgirl and Orphan, but we don't get to see the thought process behind Black Bat. I'm going to consider why Cass might have chosen Black Bat as her name, and what it means for her relationship to Bruce and the Bat symbol.
This analysis will purely consider events from the characters' perspectives, ignoring authorial intent. There is like a negative percent chance any of the connections I make here were intended, and Black Bat probably was just a name they randomly picked. This is essentially me trying to make sense of the little Cass bits we get during the Batman Reborn era.
Background: Batgirl and Orphan
Growing up nameless, Cass associates names with personhood and autonomy. Batgirl was the first (and the most important), and a large part of Batgirl (2000) showed how Cass only thinks of herself as Batgirl.
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Batgirl (2000) #7
"You need to relax, Cass--sorry--Batgirl." Barbara's 'sorry' indicates that Cass' identity is purely Batgirl, disliking any other name. (For a more in-depth exploration of this moment, see renaroo's meta!). This shows how it's not just the mantle, but the name - the actual word - that matters to Cass.
A very similar thing happens in Batman & Robin Eternal #26:
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Once again, Cass is extremely particular about what people call her. And once again she rejects one identity in favour of another - she struggles with being more than one thing. Whatever identity she adopts, it contains her whole self.
Which is why when she loses herself, she becomes nameless:
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Batgirl (2000) #73 / Red Robin #17
In the first panel, Cass has just 'killed' Shiva and forsaken Batgirl. "She thought she was a bat. But she came to find she wasn't that either." Without the bat, she becomes a girl "named Cain." While not technically nameless, Cain is just her father's last name - she has no first name of her own. This namelessness occurs again in Red Robin. After Bruce tells Cass to give Steph Batgirl, Cass is left without the bat again - and, again, she becomes nameless. Tim gives her a bat costume, asks her what she needs, and she says "to... just... be...".
If she takes up another name, she will become something - a name is not only identification, but transformation. When she has no idea who she is or who she wants to be (as seen in the end of Batgirl (2000) and Red Robin), she chooses namelessness.
The Gift
Cass remaining nameless not only shows her lack of identity, but her rejection of Bruce and the Batfamily.
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Red Robin #17
Here, Tim says it doesn't matter what Cass calls herself, they'll always be family. Cass' answer is cryptic: "But family is not always home..." If we look at Cass' history, the only times she leaves her family is when their relationship becomes unbearable. She runs from David Cain because he makes her kill; she leaves Babs because she calls her stupid; she leaves Gotham the first time because of Steph's death; she goes to Hong Kong because Bruce makes her give away Batgirl. Family isn't home for Cass only when something awful happens.
For Cass, family and names have always been linked. In my gift post, I talked about how Batgirl was presented as a gift, and how Babs says gifts are things that make you "feel[...] not alone" (Azrael: Agent of the Bat #61). Batgirl, a gift, makes Cass feel "not alone." The mantle represents her connection to the Batfamily.
In fact, Red Robin parallels the original gifting of the Batgirl suit:
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Legends of the Dark Knight #120 / Red Robin #17
Tim explicitly links the gift of the Bat symbol to family: "the...family... has settled down. I thought maybe... it was time to make it all official." (This also somewhat parallels Bruce's adoption of Cass, which Tim was also there for). But Cass doesn't accept the gift this time, telling Tim that Steph is already Batgirl, and that 'family isn't always home'. She keeps the suit, but the ambivalence in her response shows her ambivalence to her family.
Batgirl and Orphan are both familial names, one linked to the Bats, one linked to David Cain. Names to Cass represent both her own identity and her relationship to other people. When Batman took Batgirl away, he was essentially revoking her place in the family (Batman R.I.P happens right after her adoption too). Though we never explicitly get Cass' feelings, her hesitance at Tim's gift says a lot.
What Was Tim's Gift Anyway?
When Tim first sees Cass, he thinks to himself:
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Red Robin #17
This is a great insight into what Tim was actually offering. The first thought reveals that Tim wasn't suggesting Cass be Batgirl again, which Cass assumed. He knows Cass doesn't want to be "who she was" - he thinks she's being true to what "she wanted to become."
What does he think Cass wants to become?
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Batgirl (2000) #59
In Robin/Batgirl: Fresh Blood, Cass tells Tim the "the only thing" she's ever wanted was to be Batman. This is the only thing she wants - when Tim says she's being 'true to what she wanted to become', it's likely he's thinking of this conversation. So when Tim offers the batsuit, he's offering the bat mantle. He's offering what she always wanted to be: Batman.
But Cass' conception of Batman is clearly tied to Bruce ("take over for him when he's... done"), which in turn ties the concept of Batman to Gotham. Cass does become the Bat of Hong Kong, but she doesn't take the Batman name (which she totally could, since Bruce and Dick are sharing the name; or she could be 'the bat' or whatever).
Instead, she chooses Black Bat. Both Batgirl and Orphan are taken from other people, so this is strikingly the only name Cass invented (even Kasumi was probably not her invention? It was a disguise anyway). But was Black Bat actually Cass' invention?
Tai'Darshan All Along
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Batgirl (2000) #40
Black Bat is also taken from someone - from Cass' first canon love interest, the one and only Tai'Darshan. I seriously don't think DC knew they were taking the name from him, but they did and that means Tai is extremely important to understanding Cass' Black Bat era.
Because Tai doesn't just represent teenage hormones. Like Lady Shiva, Tai'Darshan was a foil to Batman, someone who opposed him in almost every aspect. He is Cass' first proper rebellion, kickstarting the downfall of Cass and Bruce's relationship in Horrocks' run; he also died because of Bruce's interference, something that Bruce himself thinks is the reason Cass doesn't trust him anymore.
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Batgirl (2000) #47
Though Bruce and Cass make up in #50, there is something permanently secretive about Black Wind and Cass' relationship. Bruce says "she won't tell me what" happened, and Tai's last conversation with Cass is about secrets:
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Batgirl (2000) #44
Tai'Darshan represents Cass' secret side, a side "buried" from everyone (particularly Bruce). Tai's reference to Cass' "real name" is poignant - in a way, he was the first person who liked Cass for Cass, who asked her to take off her mask and admired her face underneath. He never knew who she really was, but he loved her anyway. The 'bat' in Black Bat doesn't refer to Bruce, but to Cass. It makes sense that at a time of complete identity loss - after giving up Batgirl at Bruce's orders - Cass would turn to a nickname from someone who caused her falling out with Bruce, who represents secrets, rebellion, and a self defined outside of Batman.
Black Bat
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Gates of Gotham #4
I wrote elsewhere about how Gates of Gotham, and this conversation with Dick in particular, is Cass rebelling against Bruce's (and DC's) decision to boot her from Gotham. In GoG #5, she tells Tim she's staying. Black Bat as a mantle is not really Cass becoming 'the Bat' of any place - it's something different, something new. It's a reconfiguration of the Bat symbol as something that's hers.
I think Tim bookending this Black Bat experience is important, too. He gives her the Bat symbol in Hong Kong - she comes back to Gotham to tell him she's returning permanently. Black Bat and Red Robin are syntactically similar, and Black Bat is very similar to one of Tim's name suggestions ("Black Robin"). For Tim, Red Robin was punishment made into redemption; he took the name from Jason and made it his own. Black Bat, in its own way, is Cass doing the same. By taking a nickname from Tai'Darshan, she is using the bat name/symbol without attaching it to Bruce; in fact, the memory of Tai is against Bruce. She's taking back the symbol that means so much to her and making it her own.
Conclusion
This was honestly a big excuse to remind people that Black Bat comes from Tai'Darshan. As one of 4 Tai fans on this website, I just think his role in Cass' life is really interesting and underappreciated! His storyline may be awful in every way, but I'll always have a soft spot for him as a character.
Also I was writing this before Batgirl (2024) #4 came out and it does somewhat complicate this reading. Shiva is implying that Black Bat, like Orphan (and Kasumi) are identities that Cass affects, that she's "aspiring to be somebody else". I don't think Shiva is being quite fair - Orphan, for instance, is as much in defiance of David Cain as it is an homage to him. But it's interesting that even when Cass is constructing her own identity, she consistently defaults to using other people's names. In that way Shiva is right - for Cass, names are gifts, so she never tries to name herself. She also, even in this reading, clings to the image of the bat. I'm highly interested where Brombal's investigation into Cass' identity will take her, especially in regards to superhero and legacy mantles.
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amaranthdahlia · 2 days ago
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i can never stomach post canon fics where after jayce and viktor sacrifice themselves, they go back in time but only one of them does, and the other doesnt. and its too devastating for me to think about . after the whole ‘we finish this together’, after everything they went through and they essentially end up alone still . it will absolutely hang over my head if i read anything w that premise
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sixlane · 9 months ago
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airport romance
jegulus microfic | short and sweet | i’ve spent the last 24ish hours on planes and in airports so here you go!
“I’m sorry where did you say my luggage is right now?” Regulus asks, tapping his foot and crossing his arms like the perfect caricature of a problem customer.
James takes a moment before responding, mostly because he’s forgotten all of the words in the English language. “Amsterdam.”
“You see why that’s a problem, yes? Because we are in Madrid.”
“Yes,” James replies breathlessly.
The person scolding him, Regulus, James reads from his boarding pass, is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. Just having come off an 8 hour flight and he still looking pristine in an expensive suit.
“Great so now that we’ve established there’s a problem, what are you going to do about it?” Regulus raises his eyebrows for emphasis.
James sees an opening, so he takes it. Sliding into an easy grin he asks, “what do you want me to do about it?”
Regulus’ cheeks heat instantly, his eyes going a bit wide, and he looks away, at once becoming so much softer than the moment prior.
“Just get my bags,” Regulus says, and then he adds, “please,” looking back at James with curious eyes.
James huffs a laugh. Gotcha.
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gwynbleiddyn · 4 months ago
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i think we should get to spend more time with the grey company doing nice enjoyable things like baking and sitting around a campfire and telling stories and maybe making friendship bracelets have we thought about that
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galedekarios · 1 year ago
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Elminster's Letter / God of Ambition epilogue
Do you recall the day we first met, m'boy?
You could have been no more than eight summers' old, clutching your mother's apron, eyebrows singed off by the fireball you'd unleashed into your neighbour's rose bush. You were crying because the flowers were so beautiful, and you did mean to destroy them.
How kind, how eager, how brilliant you were. And yet so naive. You could not yet see that power so careless begets destruction, but so too might your good nature be the guiding light by which your bailities might shape our world for the better.
Where is that child now, I wonder? Did he remain at Blackstaff, nose buried in his books? Does he live within his mother's ageing heart, weeping for those roses? Or is he within you still, lost amongst the trappings of godhood you so casually adorn yourself with?
Whereever he is, I hope he can forgive me. To him I promise - I will not make the same mistakes again.
Elminster
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anglerflsh · 7 months ago
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see the thing is I have one (1) oc but I don't have excuses to draw him bloody he's literally a robot. Sad!
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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 6 months ago
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*Ages of this post based on information from Jason and Tim's original runs in the 80s, as im still in the process of reading the comics and I respect original runs more anyway
Jason was 12 (pre-crisis, not contradicted) when Bruce adopted him at some point after Dick left, and Dick had left Wayne Manor for about 2 years by the time Jason died (Batman #436) making Jason 14 at death, to turn 15 that year if his birthday is August 16th
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Tim is 13 when he introduces himself after Jason's death (Batman #441)
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They have like, a 1-2 year age difference
Jason returns to life 6 months after his death, spends 1 year in the hospital, then 1 year on the streets before someone recognizes him as Robin, then 1 year with the league of assassin's before being thrown into the pit (Batman Annual #25)
A total of 3½ years with Jason being dead, in a coma, and running on just instinct and muscle memory before being healed by the pit
Therefore, Jason, while physically older, is largely missing 3½ years of his life
Jason is younger than Tim
Thank you coming to my ted talk
(Dont take this seriously please bcksbdjsnks)
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